Archive for May, 2012

Don’t deny it; you say sorry more than twice in a day… everyone does, admit it! It isn’t always intentional; when i say ‘intentional’, I mean we don’t always say SORRY just because we want to shorten the conversation or the issue so as not to feel worse when all blame points at us. Ok, now let me personalize it. In growing up, whenever i misplaced something, an item, or misbehaved, I was expected to say SORRY ( I was a child). Even when mom was wrong and i was right, as the child, i was to say SORRY simply because…”never say the elderly is wrong!”… I step on your toes, SORRY… I promised to call and couldn’t, SORRY… well, not like i didn’t, but fortunately i end up calling, and i say SORRY… I accidentally spill a drink on your shirt, SORRY… n it goes on and on and on…
Sometimes I feel really bad when I’m told “C’mon girl, you don’t always need to say SORRY!”
It isn’t my fault, it just happens that I’m used to the word, just like ‘THANK YOU’. I’m just polite and courteous the way I am.  Ok… what of the word ‘NO OFFENSE’, what do you make of that? If I don’t say SORRY, that’s a different page for a totally different story all together. I wouldn’t be comfortable if a friend always says SORRY. WAIT! let me place myself in your shoes; how would I feel? This is how I’d feel: “C’mon! you always say sorry… I can now tell whenever you’re about saying it… hmph!”
I know how you feel when I say SORRY many times, but understand how I feel, and know that I know how you feel.
But seriously, I’M TRYING…
I’m doing my best and I promise to be more mindful of my actions so as not to say SORRY more than um… umm… five (5) times… yeah! not more than five (5) times in a day. Thanks for understanding. We’re cool now *:)*
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BLOODY NEWS

Posted: May 17, 2012 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , ,

Headlines clot in my blood
Unclean tears run down my face
Cannot get a read of blood flowing in my veins
Heart beats at a steady pace
As I try to cast the news today
Who said “life is always unfair”?
What makes news but the man who bit the dog?
Inhabited by the unwanted
Helpless
Betrayed by the inevitable
Instinctively I reach out for my headlines
To deliver news that will bring you joy
But laughter couldn’t have felt any bitter
As I rippled through my body
Revealing unbearable pain
Such news!
It hurts to cry
It hurts to breathe as I try to stand
My heart is racing
Who is there to hand the baton?
Who would want such a baton?
Stained with blood
Voila! My heart is racing
Racing against herself
With every beat
She is leaving me
Is she my enemy?
She is my heart
But the pain
Agyeeeeeiiii! The pain!
I can’t take it!
I cannot take this!!
Please give me a release to sleep forever
The pain is new
Never felt it before
The pain is news
Never knew it could make headlines
Depressed
A painful procedure to discover pain still spreading
Prescribed a few more pills
And pain still present
Frustrating
News of blood clot in headlines breaking
Such news
Breaking news
Bloody news
As I look down at my right leg
Dressed and beautifully bandaged
With her white cloak and bloody spots
She steals glances at her spotless twin
“You’re beautiful and raw
And I will be same soon
Pray for me that I do not rot
Pray that I get back to raw
For hidden within this pain is a seed of renewal called life”
INSPIRATION:
Purely emotions and thoughts as I looked down at my right leg 3days after being burnt with hot water whiles doing my chores at home.
I give glory and thanks to God that even though I tripped and fell off the stairs, I didn’t break a bone and I still have my leg although it left a scar.

FORBIDDEN FRUIT JUICE

Posted: May 17, 2012 in Uncategorized

I had to learn from what I’ve been through and let others know the truth so they don’t act like fools before His eyes and mine. She was but my age, my peer; beautiful, classy, principled, judicious in her speech but her curiosity was beyond measure. I shouldn’t have told her about the tree in the middle of the garden. Maybe I should’ve told her but not stressed it like I did.

I only told her I had a bite of the fruit and that resulted in what I am today. What did you expect me to do? The serpent told me my eyes would be opened even though they were never closed. Who wouldn’t want such an experience? That was when I realised I was naked and had to cover up. Since that day, I kept covering up on every naked thing, it’s like I can’t help but cover up. But you know what? She didn’t know this.

After some months, she came to me, and OMG she was so different, looked different… more or less advanced in her speech and countenance. “What happened to you”, I asked, and she told me… Well, she spoke in a different, sweeter, enviable language which took me months to decode. This was what she said in our language;

I went to the tree and saw a serpent and he told me your story so I figured out if your eyes were opened to see beyond what you saw, and to differentiate right and wrong, then having a double of that experience would be unimaginable so I plugged all the fruits, and squeezed the juice from them. I took them home and been drinking since. The serpent actually told me to drink it whenever I’m thirsty. It’s been a few days now and I can’t part from that juice. The thought of it getting finished was frustrating; I mean, I plugged all the fruits. Yet, the bottles never seem empty.

There, she handed me a bottle and told me to try it. The packaging was one of a kind. The colour of the juice was… was… it was indescribable. It looked like different shades of every coloured fruit, more like a ‘multifruta’ yet inviting. I tried so hard to take my eyes off, but then I began to look at her, all that beauty, confidence, language within a few days of fruit juice??

She left the bottle of fruit juice in my room, on my study table to be precise. Since then, I’ve been staring at it, contemplating…

Hey! Don’t be quick to judge me. I’m still contemplating…

…AND HE STOOD ME UP

Posted: May 17, 2012 in Uncategorized

…AND HE STOOD ME UP.

…AND HE STOOD ME UP

Posted: May 17, 2012 in Uncategorized

stood up

The shirt I wore could tell how many crunches and sit-ups I do in a day
Grey, 100% cotton and friendly
Yet my little sister said it was teasing
My faded-knee blue jeans trousers was tight enough to carve my hips and make you smile
Yet loose enough to tell you I’m a lady with class
My neck and right wrist added some colour and a bit of Africa
With quite heavy beads
Yellow, black, green and red well balanced pattern stripes
My lips looked mild and glowing
With my heels a bit noisy

Me: Where are you? I’m setting off from Tema, so will be at the mall in an hour if not less

Him: Oh ok, something came up so I’ll be a bit late… Wouldn’t wanna keep you waiting there all by yourself though

Me: [sighs] I’ll be waiting anyway. Just don’t make me wait too long”

Him: Ok… [hangs up]

I felt good in my outfit so I knew I looked good especially when that taxi driver winked at me and couldn’t see that speed ramp in front of him, causing other drivers behind him honking in frustration.

My hair is obedient to the wind
Dry, straightened and black
I can tell she liked it
She just couldn’t help but run those mighty waves through it
As I sat in the trotro by the window

“Oh c’mon, Wind, you’re messing my hair”.

I tried straining my ears harder but the driver was speeding so I couldn’t hear her response. Anyway, she straightened my hair when I got to my destination. I only had to run my fingers through them and off I went.

Chilled, sweaty, inviting coke
Don’t call me a drug addict
I’m just attached to a specific drink
Coke is the drink
It made perfect match with some beef and chicken mixed shawama from Bassilisa
But… Where’s he?

Me: Where’s he? Gosh! This is my fourth bottle of coke and it’s been over an hour. He hasn’t called too… [kissing my teeth]

SomeHotGuy: Hello? Are you waiting for someone, if you don’t mind me sitting with you?

[in my thoughts] **Seriously?? The last thing I need is a hot guy with a warming voice in corporate wear to sit with me. Young man, you’re hot and all, but I don’t need to start a new book, writing this one isn’t that easy and I’ve got too much on my plate**

Me: [sarcastic smile whiles stroking the back of my left ear] Oh yea, you can have a seat.

SomeHotGuy: I don’t mean to intrude, but are you waiting for someone? Cos you’ve been here for a while…

Me: Oh you’ve been stalking me all this while?

SomeHotGuy: [laughs] I would prefer saying, I’ve been watching you drink all that coke by yourself. It marveled me.

Me: [[OMG! His dimples…]]

SomeHotGuy: Ok so I’m… [[didn’t register his name…]] and you are?

Me:…waiting for a friend

SomeHotGuy: Ouch! That was some gentle rudeness

Me: [sighs]… [calling Him] umm…what’s the excuse now? Where are you??

Him: I’m still waiting for my client and he isn’t in yet.

Me: You know this is our first time out, right? I’ve been sitting here for over 2hrs waiting for you, and… [shaking my head]

Him: I’m sorry, Akwele, I know you’re bored with me now but I just can’t leave. Please. I feel very bad right now but… please I’m sorry. Please, Akwele

Me: Ok, be fast cos it’s getting late [hangs up]

SomeHotGuy: Wondering why a guy could treat a lady as nice as you this way, leaving you waiting here for over 2hrs. I think you’re just too nice to be waiting all this while…

Me: [rolling my eyes and sucking my coke through the long thin stripped straw]

SomeHotGuy: The name again?

[that look he gave was divine and warm. I couldn’t resist that]

Me: [smiling] I never mentioned it, but I’m Akwele

SomeHotGuy: A twin? Cool… School? Work?

Me: School. Central University College. Major, Economics with an HRM minor. I’m not telling you which year though [sucks on drink]

SomeHotGuy: hahahahahahha… That was a fast one. Well, I was leaving but wanted to talk with you. I’ve got a busy schedule from Monday and an earlier church service tomorrow so I won’t bother you much. But hey, I like you…

[[just like that!! Really??]]

SomeHotGuy:…so [reaches for his card holder] here’s my card. Call me when he doesn’t show up, or hopefully if he does…

Me: And why is his presence or absence of any importance to you?

SomeHotGuy: You deserve good treatment.

Me: Oohh

SomeHotGuy: Don’t get me wrong, please. All I’m saying is, just let me know what happens at the end of the day. Depending on how soon you call, I may be close and come pick you up and drop you home…

Me: hmmm… Ok [nodding my head]

SomeHotGuy: Nice meeting you, Akwele. And hey, curve those lips. It straightened my night if you care to know.

[that actually caused me to smile]

SomeHotGuy: Enjoy your night. I’ll be expecting your call soon.

Me: [smiles]

After waiting another hour besides the experience with SomeHotGuy and no word from Him, I decided to send him an sms which read:

“If u aren’t here in the next 30min, you wouldn’t need to set off”

So after 30min, bursting with boredom, I set off and right before I sat in a taxi, called Him

Me: You could’ve called me, you know?

Him: I didn’t know what to say and I felt so guilty.I know you’re bored with me right now.

Me: That’s an understatement.

Him: I’m deeply sorry.

Me: You’ve no idea how I sustained myself for all those hours… and you didn’t even call to ask how I was holding up. You didn’t force at all. I’m disappointed, for lack of appropriate words in this situation. Do you even know how I’m gonna get home at this time of the night??

Him: [silent]

Me: Oh won’t you talk??

Him: I’m very sorry

Me: I’m getting home

The rest of the story; when I got home, again, I called. Him actually told me he would come over and it was literally at the 11th hour so I didn’t want to wear my usual shirt with boxers, looking all so revealing, so I waited for him. I had to get myself busy whiles waiting so I wrote some concepts for 2 poems and read a bit. It was about 1am and he still hadn’t called. I figured calling him would define me as being extremely nice, so I took a cold bath to wash the boredom away…far away so it doesn’t follow me as a shadow into my sleep.
A new dawn, a new day. I called him for explanations and my calls weren’t answered. Yea, it’s confirmed and sealed… He Stood Me Up that night.

SomeHotGuy though… should I call him?

THE BITTER PILL

Posted: May 17, 2012 in Uncategorized

I need to fall to rise. I’m young, and for what it’s worth, experience will play an amazing role in the long run. People experience life in a quite expected way, but agree with me that most experiences, for lessons to be well learnt and sink in so deep into the body and soul of man, usually occur the harder way. I find myself in that category and honestly, it doesn’t feel good. But hey, who says what is right needs to feel good?

I encounter and address issues all the time, and obviously my purpose is to make the victims feel safe even in distress and pain and a state of confusion. Victims are usually older and more matured than I, so I believe I was gifted. Well, I was until I received a bigger well packaged gift__EXPERIENCE. Enclosed in this gift box were notes like “you’ll only know how hot fire burns if it burns you deliberately or accidentally” …. “understanding what someone feels is not enough to understand how he/she feels, rather feeling what that person feels is all you need to understanding what he/she feels” … “Experience is the best teacher. Believe it and live life learning, else doubt it and live life studying it”.

Visionaries always rule. It is required of us that we don’t see only the now but look into the future and act now. If you have a bad sight, fix it! We both know how uncomfortable it feels when we’re in the dark… left in the dark… kept in the dark. It feels insecure.

My message is simple. Well, not all that simple because everything you read here is coded and the key to decoding it is to look beyond it’s surface. Life is fair but we say it’s unfair the moment things don’t go our way. That’s so human. I understand. Sometimes, challenges and occurrences makes us feel shattered, broken, lost, unsafe, in pain. But have you ever realized that breeding on these doesn’t make it look better? It rather causes torture.

The head and tail both make a coin. And to know the true value of it, one has to give equal attention and relevance to both sides of the coin. But the rule is, you’ll have a tail only because I chose a head. Life is beyond how we see it. It’s what we do when we see it.

It’s painful, so what? You’re hurt, so what? Unexpected, so what? Life still moves on, and the clock’s still ticking. Endure! It’s the only way to be tough. Who says sand is the only part of soil. There are gravels and even pit sands. You’ve probably walked on gravels bare footed but as much as it’s painful, it’s equally healthy for your feet and massages it as well. How long will you keep crying and lamenting, and complaining?

Fix that eye and see how beautiful and bright tomorrow is with the decisions you make today. And know that, all the pain of now and yesterday is shaping a better course for tomorrow.

Maame: I saw a man by the roadside and he said ‘Jesus is coming to Accra’, and then he vanished. She paused a moment and saw the emotionless look in Adjoa’s face. “You don’t believe it’s real, do you?”

Adjoa: /clears throat/ C’mon Maame, why would I think you’ll be two-faced about such an issue? Besides, everyone believes what they experience is real, just like a dream or a hallucination. How does one even know I what he sees and experiences is real or unreal? What if the reality we assume to see is not real after all but a dream, a perfect design of our minds and heart or of the grand designer of it all? What if the hallucinations are reality in itself? Who defined reality and unreality anyway?

Maame: “Oh for goodness sakes Adjoa, why do you always like complicating things?
Adjoa: The fact that I’m real, able to think and analyze issues that you don’t, doesn’t make me complicated. It makes you shallow… no offense /chuckles/

Maame: Let me tell you what reality is; reality is you here and now…/nudges Adjoa/ how you feel, and your ability to control your emotions and movement is reality… /Adjoa interrupts/

Adjoa: I get where you’re coming from but listen; the purpose of our existence is that we created this reality to live in. that’s why often at times, the things we believe in that don’t seem to be absolute truth, seem true at some times yet untrue at certain times. Half truths, some will call it. These ‘half truths’ swinging at certain points in our lives can be caused by circumstances, books we read, meditations… blah blah blah, and it makes reality seem so unreal. You’ve experienced that before, right?

Maame: /stuttering/W..w…well… /raising shoulders/

Adjoa: So now let me ask you; what that ‘period’ between umm… or what balances dreaming and awakening? Reality or unreality? The reality of unreality? Whatever it is, no sane man would want to be trapped in or by his dream neither would his dream neither would he want to stay awaken forever. So why is the judgment on reality and unreality so inconsistent?

Maame: /grabs a sweaty bottle of coke from the fridge… puff/ mmhhh… /gulps coke greedily/ well, I’m assuming it’s just in our nature to always have answers, even to the shallowest and more or less meaningless of things… no offense /laughs teasingly/

Adjoa: Let’s say by continuously snubbing unreality is the acceptance of reality

Maame: /interrupts/ you need a bottle of coke; it refreshes the brain as well… trust me, it works whenever I feel depressed /hands over a glass of coke/

Adjoa: So how real was the man you saw? If he had white huge wings and long silky Asian hair, with a pale skin, then I’ll tell you without doubts, that’s no angel /sips coke/ mmhh refreshing…

Maame: /sarcastically/…and his voice was that of a still small wind, that which only I could hear. All jokes aside, he looked indescribable, yet beautiful… like I could just stare at him all day and never get bored. He looked erm… divine… yes! DIVINE!! He looked DIVINE, reason why I was so convinced he was real. I think he was an angel, caused he just… he just…

Adjoa: vanished into this hot air??

Maame: walked away…

Adjoa: Walked away? Maame paa… and you didn’t call him? Ah! Mtcheww… I guess fear gripped those lanky legs of yours, you just stared at him walk away till he was out of sight

Maame: I wouldn’t call that fear; maybe bewilderment I guess…

Adjoa: Jesus is coming soon, every Christian believes that. But how soon is what we don’t know. His ‘delay’ is what’s causing all this confusion and inconsistency in our belief and thought on what is real and what is not. I believe one’s belief should be his reality, making reality relative to every individual. Let the Christian believe God is real even when there’s no physical evident of his existence. Let the over 99% of scientist believe that a literal translation of Genesis does not prove reality and thus creation science is false. Let the other scientists believe that evolution was driven by blind, unnatural forces without a goal, and let those who want to follow eternal bible truth do. You can’t change man, and it’s probably impossible to easily change beliefs. Let them be.

Maame: In that case, you are saying what I say was real only to me?

Adjoa: it was real because you saw it and you believed it. But the moment the man’s prophesy begins to ‘delay’, you’ll begin to wonder and doubt the weight of his message. The moment that happens, you let your expectations and your guard down. You begin to focus on other things, and then BOOM!! It happens… he comes. It’s so evident today; we’ve heard centuries past “Jesus is coming soon”, it’s just like reciting our anthem in the passing so flimsy and sometimes don’t even meditate on them to have a true meaning and value to it. As much as we know Jesus is coming, he’ll come when we less know it… when we least expect it.

Maame: eeeiii Adjoa that!! You should change your discipline in school oo… you should actually be reading philosophy, psychology and those controversial, mind tricking courses instead of Business Admin

Adjoa: Well, my field of study doesn’t define me. I’m only adding some value to myself…

/door bell rings/… Pls go check that out, ok? I’m so exhausted…

Maame: Oh really? But you’re closer to the door

Adjoa: I beg wai. I got you sth nice from town

/Maame opens door/

Maame: Hello

Man: Hello young lady, is Adjoa in, pls?

Maame: Hold on a minute. Let me call her out

/Adjoa appears at the door/

Adjoa: Yeeeesss… Hello… OMG! Maame it’s… it’s /stuttering/ it’s… /pointing forefinger at the man in awe/

…To be continued…

 

Reality of Unreality

Reality of Unreality