Archive for December, 2012

MY PRIDE… HIS OBSESSION_IV

Posted: December 25, 2012 in Uncategorized
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Lise and Eben are lovers. He’s an elder in the church and she’s a new convert. Just like any other woman despised by her own father and abandoned by her mother after school, and having been hit with misfortune from all phases, she finds solace in a man who promises her a better life. She genuinely loved him. She did.

Just when she came out of the clinic to share the amazing news of their pregnancy with him, she meets a church member.

Church member: Would you be at Elder Eben’s Engagement next Saturday?

Lise: Which engagement?

Astoned at the news, she comfronts Eben who in turn explains that he ‘accidentally’ impregnated a woman some months back and her family wouldnt settle for anyhing but marriage. She left without telling him he was supposed to father the child in her womb from 7mths to come.

But how could he? He’s an elder. He promised he would marry her. Fornication is sin but well, he was gonna marry her anyway. But to repeat that sin with another woman… What would God call it?

There was another man in the picture. Fiifi. Fiifi wouldnt rest until Lise says YES.

She couldnt stand the humiliation of what to come after 7mths. Even now, she’s not got a job even to boast of salary, how much more the baby she’s carrying?

So to her, YES was just that word that would save her and her child in the longterm. To the world but her, her son, Eli, was Fiifi’s.

It’s 20yrs now and her secret is safe from the world. Safe until Eben falls critically ill.

Guilt embraces her so tight and wouldnt let go… For days! Days!! Several days!!! Uneasiness sets in. “Do I tell Eli? Oh my God!!! Fiifi would kill me. But my son needs to know his real father. I can’t deny him that… Not now”

She keeps contemplating yet Eben’s health geta worse by the day. Just when she’d wanted to consider making a decision, that phonecall of a new whole drama sets in. He’s dead. Eben is dead.

Eli: I know you’re closer to her than any of the friends. At the moment, I just need you to let her know that I know what’s going on. I can’t stand seeing her like this. She’s so torn, Aunty Muna.

Muna: Wow… How are you taking all this?

Eli: Well, it’s not like I knew my biological father anyway. To me, Fiifi would always be my Dad cos that’s what he’s been doing all my life.

Muna: How do you think he’ll take it?

Eli: I honestly dont know. I dont.

Muna: [whispers to herself] Oh my God… Lise, you’ve got some explanation to do.

Back in Lise’s house

Muna: You’re in some deep messy sh*t honey. Why didnt you tell me?

Lise: Hoh! I couldnt have told anyone. Would you have? I mean, after school everyone was outta range. No communication or whatsoever. My family got broken and I was trynna save Eben from humiliation in church [she interrupts]

Muna: I think Fiifi deserves to know.

Lise: What??

Muna: [nods her head]

Lise: But I hope you understand what I did. I wanted to live, Muna… I wanted a life for Fiifi too. And Eben, he loves me too much to handle the truth

Muna: Lise, if you dont tell him, I would. And I’m not gonna stab you in the back cos I’m telling you that I will do it if you don’t

[Standing from the couch to get a drink from the bar, Lise sees her husband standing motionless staring at her]

Lise: [panics and takes a step back] Babe, how long have you been standing there?

IMPRISON ME

Posted: December 17, 2012 in Uncategorized
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No… I don’t
Wanna be free
I don’t
Wanna want to choose

Make me free
And I swear I’ll abuse it
No laws
No need to obey
No commitments
No need to stay

Make me free
And I’ll wander
Like you never needed me
Like I never needed me
No… I don’t
Wanna be free

You never made me to be free anyway
Yes you gave me a choice
To go or to stay
Even this choice
As limited as they are
Never was free

Why talk about freedom
If I was never free
Why talk about freedom
When all I do is obey and stay
Yet I don’t
Wanna be free

If obeying you is slavery
If staying with you is slavery
Then I can testify there’s no prison as promising
There’re no chains as comfortably binding
Keep me imprisoned
Keep me binded

Maame: yeah I mean, he’s really cute but I don’t wanna rush things. And for the record, I do like him. He’s a conversationalist and a good company [Muna interrupts]

Muna: Hah! He’s a man, Maame. If you don’t grab him now, someone else would come for him. Someone who he’ll later end up saying he can never leave although he’s in love with you… Then later gets married to her but still chases after you. Who does that? [shrugs]

Ms. D: [Opens eyes wide and replays movie to break the silence]

Tricia: Who does that? Muna… The guy who broke your heart does that!! We are sorry for what happened to you but you can’t keep making such comments perfectly wrapped with insensitivity and a sarcastic smile. You don’t do that, Muna.

Muna: Why? Some guy broke my heart so I should walk with a straight face and mourn my pride till I can’t?

Adwoa: No Muna… We want you to show us exactly how you feel. We’re your friends and we care about you a lot. It’s ok to cry, it’s ok to be angry, it’s ok to be sad. It shows how human we are.

Muna: Meaning?? I’m less human?? Really?

Danielle: [shakes her head]

Maame: Muna, it’s ok… Forget it ok? You’re just umm… Different.

Muna: I’m not bored or anything of that sort. I’m happy for you… Just a little advice from a caring friend.

Ms. D: Umm… Yeah, right!

[a few minutes later]

Maame: Muna, would you pass by Night Market?

Muna: Yeah but I’m not returning any moment soon.

Maame: Ok

Muna: Bye girls [leaves room]

Danielle: Wow… Muna’s changed.

Lise: When Maame spoke about her ‘new developent’, I’d wanted to share mine but listening to Muna… Hmm…

Ms. D: Obaa, please share oo…

Finally Lise’s got a catch. Whew!! Even girls took a second look at her siloutted curves especially when she rocks those blue jeans trousers with perfectly fitting polo shirts with Godly inscriptions. Her smile… Charming.

[Girls excited… Move to Lise’s bed to listen. Ms. D throws her phone on Maame’s bed and rushes to grab a seat in front of Lise]

Lise: [Laughs uncontrollably at the girls’ reaction]
Ok… Ok… He’s [laughs hard] Herh! Stop staring at me like that… Ei so you were all waiting for me to say this?

Ms. D: Duhh!!

Lise: He’s… Well, we’ve been friends for some time but recently there’s been a shift

Adwoa: Heheh… A shift in the atmosphere!! Speak, sister!!

[Girls listen with smiles as Lise fills them on her ‘new development’]

Just as a reminder, I’m telling my story, not Lise’s. So let me skip all the excitement with the girls.

So, Sam got married, and just like I told him, I wasn’t present at his wedding. At this point in my life, I can easily recognize the unnecessaries and ignore them… Like the guy who’s been sending me gifts and anonymous texts at home, work, even in church. How courageous can he be? Well, there’s Conrad who now manages his dad’s publishing firm, smart, matured, wants to settle with me, both parents seem interested… What else’s needed? Besides it’s been a year after graduation and getting married next year will fit perfectly into my life plan.

Want to hear something more dramatic?

I met Sam three days ago. My heart skipped, maybe more than once but it did. I wouldn’t have written this story if we hadn’t met recently. Exactly how I felt when I saw him, I really cannot tell. He looked good… Healthy… Well dressed as always… But something was different.

Sam: Muna

Muna: Heeeeyyyy what’s up with you? Been a while…

Sam: Umm sort of… I’ve been keeping track though.

Muna: How do you mean, ‘keeping track’?

Sam: You don’t receive my gifts and letters? Sent you a cake on your birthday with the [she interrupts]

Muna: “Love you then… Love you now… Love you forever”

Sam:[smiles] Wow… U did get it. Did you like it?

Muna: [Surprised… Couldn’t find right words to utter] wow… Oh wow!! That was you?

Sam: C’mon babe… Who’d ever love you the way I do?

Muna: My fiance!! I’m getting married, Sam… And what’s with you and this attitude? Why were you stalking me?

Sam: Married? You’re marrying Conrad??

Muna: Oh my God!!! You know his name?? [walks in fast pace towards her car]

Sam: [runs after her] But you don’t even love him!!!

Muna: [whispers to herself] Oh God!! He’s gone nuts… Jesus!! [hand starts shivering… Car keys drop and falls. He bends together with her to take the keys but he was fast enough]

I managed to look into his eyes; the desire in there was too strong… Hate, greed, selfishness… Most of all, anger. He was angry. But what was he angry about? Me??

[She snatches the keys from his palm and opens the door]

Muna: Stay away from me, Sam… Just stay away…

Sam: You don’t get it, do you? I still love you and we can be together now. I took care of everything and made provisions for you… For us…

Muna: [Starts engine… Looks at him with fear] Don’t do this, Sam… Don’t do this.

The following night, Sam was at my apartment. Although I felt unsafe, I’d wanted to hear what he had to say, so I suggested we sat in the porch and talk.

Sam: Don’t marry him, Muna, you don’t love him. You deserve to experience a man that would get you smiling every morning; not a routine.

Muna: And since when did you care?

Sam: I never stopped. As a matter of fact, I can tell you everything that’s happened to you after that night when you walked away from me

Muna: Sam, are you ok? Where’s your wife and child?

Sam: They died in an accident after the wedding… Well, it wasn’t an accident but it looks it. I never saw the child anyway. She was exactly 9momths.

Muna: oh my!! You killed your family?!! You killed!!

Sam: We are destined together, Muna

Muna: Get out of my house, Sam. It’s late, I don’t wanna wake my neighbours so please… Quietly leave

Sam: [sadly leaving]

Muna: [calls his name] Sam, one more thing

Sam: Tell me

Muna: Me and you, we can never be together.

He left. It was a sad dramatic moment but glad I made it all clear. The day after, I heard Sam had passed away in his sleep. Well, some say he took some pills, others say his wife and unborn child’s death was too depressing for him to handle… But then his parents found a note which they promised never to disclose to anyone but me. When to read that note, probably after my wedding… I’m busy planning for my big day.

I thought I could make up for not showing up at his wedding with an invitation to mine, but death just couldn’t wait a little longer.

Well, his obsession led to his death. I’m alive because I didnt choose to go crazy about my heart desires. I’m blessed with a man who loves me and to me, that’s enough. That’s me… Not you.

Again, my name’s Muna…

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Muna: What are you doing here?

Sam: Muna… [walks towards her a few steps… Close enough to rub his hands on her arms]

Muna: [smiles sarcastically and gently pushes away] Umm…

Sam: You wore the boxers. You rock in them.

Muna: [Interrupts] You called me outside here with you during T-BOX NIGHT to tell me I rock in your boxers because…??

Sam: [whispers] hey I’m sorry I hated the look in his face. It was piercing. And he… He could read me so well even upside down. Where’s Harry Potter’s invisible cloak when one needs it?

Sam: I couldnt do anything about it. It’s not me, it’s our families. The pressure. Muna: Hah! Remind me!! Sam: I came straight here the moment I also got the invite via facebook. I… [sighs] I haven’t even proposed to her yet.

Muna: [smiling] Yea I believe you haven’t “yet”. But you have her ring already, yeah?

Sam: [silent… Looks away]

Muna: Of cos! [Tilts head up and opens eyes wide enough for tears to sink back in]

Sam: I don’t love her, Muna. Muna: Hahahaha… Remind me, again! Sam: Stop smiling, it’s freaking me out, please. I’m very sorry, Muna. You shouldn’t have been nice to me in your home 5yrs back. You shouldnt have served me tea with milk separately even when you didnt know I was lactose intolerant. No one served me tea like that.

Muna: Oh so I’m at fault for being myself?

Sam: My point exactly. It’s just you, Muna. It’s what you did to me that day and the days after. You gave me something she never did. Your warmness, your heart…

Muna: [interrupts] Sam!! Sam!!! [says calmly] Please shut up… Shut up already. Anything else you wanna say differently after all these years? Anything? Sam: [silent]

Muna: [Tilts head upwards again] Gosh! I… I have… I have [whispers words out carefully and eventually gets lost out of breath miming the last words as they fade out] I have loved you more than any other man. [tears couldn’t contain themselves anymore] I can be a whole lot of things but being seen as a dumb and foolish woman, no… Not me.

Sam: I know… I know… I…

Muna: Why did you keep going? Why didnt you let me go when you realize I could never be your bride? Why did you enslave me in all that pleasure and hope of being free with you someday? Why did you encourage it? You were supposed to be the more matured one, Sam.

Sam: We had issues in the past and you were there for me. It was convenient and I was vulnerable but when everything started to get crystal and real, I’d fallen in love with you already and couldnt help it. I couldnt stay away

Muna: Convenient. Convenient? [Finds voice and screams out] CONVENIENT!! IT WAS CONVENIENT?!

Sam: Please don’t do this… Please…

Muna: Don’t do what? Don’t tell you exactly what you deserve to hear? Hah! I tried, Sam… I tried to fix this on several ocassions in the past. I let go several times yet you kept coming back and you knew how vulnerable I get around you. You knew exactly how to manipulate me. [awkward silence as Adwoa ascends the stairs with her boyfriend Peasah] And that’s Adwoa. She hardly comes to the room but honours our ocassional rituals. She’s amazingly talented with a sharp sixth sense. I call her the Love Doctor. Just hoping they didnt overhear any part of our convo

Adwoa: Hey Muna

Muna: Adwoa… Peasah… ‘sup?

Adwoa: are the girls in there?

Muna: Yeah you’re late!! And no boyfriends, Adwoa… You wouldn’t wanna make us feel uneasy, would you?

Peasah: hahahaha… Just came to see her off here, Muna [both leave] [back in the room]

Adwoa: [whispering to Maame] is that not Samuel, Muna’s talking with?

Maame: He’s here?

Adwoa: Ah! The guy who came over last week to see her. I remember telling you that they had something

Maame: Did she look ok?

Adwoa: Looks like she needs to be rescued if you ask me

Maame: They have this ‘thing’ but not officially dating until we found out tonight that he was getting married

Adwoa: And she called him here?

Maame: No, you know Muna wouldnt do that!

Adwoa: wow! He came here? Wow! Wondering what he has to say to her… Oh my! Poor Muna

Lise: Oh you girls really? It’s not much fun with those little chit chats whiles we’re all watching a movie… And where’s Muna? [Back outside]

Sam: I don’t wanna marry her. I tried to consciously love her but you were in my head too. I tried, Muna, trust me, I tried.

Muna: Well, whose wedding bells are ringing now? So this is it? This is the end of us? You get married and for the rest of my life I’ll have to deal with knowing that you wake up every morning by her side? And you’re gonna have children? Hah! Kids!!

Sam: Please…

Muna: Remember the day you rubbed my belly and said you’d want me to be the mother of our children?

Sam: Muna…

Muna: I’m not gonna come for your wedding

Sam: Muna!

Muna: Me and you, we never happened. You’re gonna turn back now, get out of here, not ever call me again until we accidentally meet someday.

Sam: [kneels on one knee] Muna…

Muna: What the h*ll!! Stop that. Get up and leave, now!!

Sam: She’s carrying my child

Muna: I said get up and… And… What?! She what?! She…??

Sam: She’s carrying my child. I’m sorry [tears run down his emotionless face as he continues to speak and explain himself]

Muna: [shock grips her feet to the ground. She had moved but not any part of her body. Her mind kept moving… Wandering on memory lane… Sweet memories… Promises… Sacrifices…] Oh my God!!

Muna: [finally released from shock’s grip but released too hard that she couldnt stand on her feet. Strong sensation in her stomach. She held her belly and almost fell on her knees. But she had to stay and look strong. She can’t let herself go in front of him. No] You know what? Just leave [turns calmly and walks back into the room]

Adwoa and Maame: Muna!!

Tricia: sshhh!!! This is the romantic part…

Muna: Umm ladies, I… I…

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So let’s skip the part where I keep you in suspense with the sharp heart skips of excitement and unexpected surprises.

Had a bad day already. For some reason my supervisor woke up from the wrong side of bed and I had to suffer from his anxiety and frustration. Meaning no free ride back to my hostel. Well, thank God it’s a few more minutes tick to 5pm. I can’t wait to get to my room… [soft smile] yeah! It’s girls’ night tonight.

[Opens door. Girls interracting whiles watching TV]

Ms. D: [smiles] Hey Muna…

There was Ms. D, on Maame’s bed, whatsapping as usual. She never really dated but was surrounded by countless guys. At times I felt she was being modest and careful not to hurt anyone. Slim, amazing body curves, lovely voice, smiles with dimples… hah! Well…

Nanna sat on Lise’s bed reading a book… hah! Nanna. Who’s more organized and goal oriented in life amongst us? As at Level 400, I could hardly tell my next step after graduation. She helped us with academics sometimes and other extra curricula activities. Nanna was more private than any of the girls. I bet she didn’t want any destruction; that’s understandable…

Oh that’s Maame, doing the dishes. Love that about her… Orderly. Maame was an interesting character. She loved the lord; we all did but I admired Maame and Lise’s zeal with things of the Lord. There wasn’t a Sunday where they stayed idle indoors. After her breakup, she became more or less distant and showed less emotion and sensitivity. As if I cared, well I did but secretly, because she cared about me too. I confided in her sometimes.

Up on Maame’s bed is Fali with her friend Nyabu. Don’t know much about Nyabu only that she’s friendly, goes straight into the washroom the moment she enters the room, and smiles a lot. Fali is a non-judgmental, open and sweet Muslim friend.

Muna: Any food? I’m starving?

Maame: [To Muna] Fali said she’s got it all settled for tonight. It’s on the way. No need to worry, Muna [taps her on the shoulder]

[Door opens]

Oh yea that’s Tricia. A friend of the room. Not best of friends but to the best of my knowledge, the man everyone thought was perfect with her together, gave up along the way. I wonder what’s with all these pretty ladies having men who’re either indecisive or insecure.

[Door opens again. Enters Lise with her keyboard]

Yeah, she was from church. Umm… Not much to say only that she is a pillar in her church and cannot bare to miss a service. Gosh! That voice!! Remind me why she doesnt have a boyfriend again… Oh yeaah!! I know… But ssshhh!!

Lise: Hey Tricia, when did u come?

Tricia: Just got here

Muna: So when are we gonna watch the Twilight Breaking Dawn II at the Silverbird Cinema?

Ms. D: Not me

Muna: Hah! Ms. D, your views don’t count

[girls laugh]

Nanna: Aww don’t do that to Ms. D… Hahahaha!!

Muna: [Looks at Ms. D with a pitiful smile] Just kidding, Ms. D… But who cares?! We’ll all go anyway, whether you like it or not!

[One after the other, each takes their bath to dress into T-shirts and boxers. That was the theme for the night ie. T-BOX NIGHT]

Ms. D: Ladies… Just saw a wedding invite. Remember Samuel?

Tricia: The hot keyboardist who came over to see Muna last week?

Maame: What? He’s getting married?? [Whispers ‘wow]

Ms. D: Yes!! Yes!!! With his long lasting relationship girl bi like that. Aww… Finally!! I was wondering when…

Voices starting to fade in my ears. Suddenly I could hear all the girls talk and laugh at the top of their voices only from afar… as far as I wanted… Far enough that I could hear my heart’s pace and the drops of water from the bathroom’s shower. I could hardly finish brushing my teeth again but only in slow motion as I look in the mirror.

No! It isnt true.

I blinked hard. Suddenly, all the voices were as clear and noisy. [washes mouth and places toothbrush in the locker]

Muna: [Smiles sarcastically] Umm… Who’s getting married??

Fali: The ‘hot guy’ who came to see you last Wednesday. I even thought he had eyes for you. The way he looked at you

Nanna: Eeeeiiiii Fali [laughs]

Tricia: Wanting-wanting no get… Getting-getting no want. How you go do am?

Maame took a long stare at my fake smiles and asked to see me in the bathroom. I was getting tired of that smile anyway.

She closed the door and starts rattling words. Again, I could hear nothing

Maame: …are you even listening to me??

Muna: [tears finally rush in a second on her left cheek] It’s not him, right? It isn’t Sam. I saw him last week, he could’ve told me.

Maame: What could you have done? Stopped him?? You think he would’ve changed his mind?

Muna: [shaking and wandering eyes around the doors, windows, ceiling] Oh my God! Oh my God!!

[Knock on the door]

Fali: [Screams] The pizza, ladies!!

Nyaabu: Yaay!! Pizza!!

Ms. D: Hey Maame, Muna, pizza’s in!!

Maame: Wipe those tears… Let’s get in. I know it’s hard for you right now, but unless you want the girls to know… I’m here for you, ok? [hugs her and pulls her back in]

I tried to fit in. Ate a couple of slices and a few sips of Coca Cola. But damn! He can’t get married.Is this the end of Sam and I? Marriage? He’s marrying?? I wish so much that these girls would just vanish into thin air right now. I can’t stand this… And that… That! Is a depressing movie. I can’t keep lifting my head to suck in the tears in my eyes. Aaarrrgggghhhh!!!

[phone rings on Muna’s bed]

[she climbs bed to answer]

Muna: Hello?

Sam: Muna? Muna listen to me

Muna: Sam? Sam!!

Maame: [lifts head up and manages to look at Muna even in the dark]

Sam: Hello? Muna?? Hello…

Muna: [silent]

Sam: I know you’re there. Please listen to me. Umm… I’m assuming you’ve received the invite already. We need to talk. I’m outside now. Outside your room. On your floor. I really need to see you now, Muna. Please say something… Please…

Muna: [silent]

Sam: [whispers in anxiety] Oh my God… Muna…

Muna: Ok.

[cuts the call and excuses herself]

There he was, standing with arms in his pocket. He wore the shirt I got him for his birthday last week. Finally the day’s here. The day where I give up 5yrs of love, pain, sacrifice, uncontrol… The day’s here.

He turns and slowly whispers my name, but loud enough for me to hear. I didnt like the look in his eyes. It always got me vulnerable. Now I feel vulnerable. But no… Not anymore… I’ll look deep into his eyes even if it burns mine.

Finally some courage

Muna: What are you doing here??

TEAR ‘N THE RAIN

Posted: December 6, 2012 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , ,

I walk in the rain
This night
My Android won’t give up
As I type
Faster than usual cos my hands are shaking
Faster than normal cos I havent slept or eaten

All men are the same
All women are the same
It’s the approach; they change
In the end
We are hurt
In the end
We hurt

Rains now pouring lighter
Oh how I pray it pours heavier
So until I taste each drop then to tell
That which is tears
That which is rain
All synced the rain