MR. TROTRO MAN

Posted: February 7, 2014 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

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So, I had an encounter this evening in a trotro. Long story though, but I remember my SUMMARY Lessons from High School so let’s shorten it.

[He could’ve waited for me to adjust my butt in my seat but then I guess impatience was the first trait he intended displaying]

Mr. Man: I like your phone. Touch screen ehn?

Miz Akwele: Yes, thank you.

[I greeted him; it was the right thing to do, he seemed in his late 30s or early 40s. He responded]

Mr. Man: Ei and you are whatsapping. Oh nice… Nice. So you wouldn’t mind giving me your number so I whatsapp you too? I like the way you’re typing.

[At this point, you could just guess the look on my face]

Miz Akwele: No [smiling]

Mr. Man: No, as in you would like me to give my number or NO as in you don’t want it.

Miz Akwele: [smiling] No as in I wouldn’t want to give you my number.

Mr. Man: Oh ok.

[Pfft!! Later on the journey, I’d wanted to buy Plantain Chips from one of the street hawkers, but it struck me that the chips could cause another discussion. What if he asks why I didn’t invite him, because I never intended to…?? What if I start chewing it and he says he likes the way I’m chewing it, just like he liked the way I was typing?? Dayum!! Had to watch that seller go, and all the other chips sellers on the road. I figured there was nothing he would’ve said next; I’d faced the window for fresh air because his colon was disturbingly awful]

Mr. Man: I’ll get down at some place called KFC, you know there?

Miz Akwele: Yes, you won’t get lost, it’s by the streets.

[I had to answer all the follow up questions before he asked. Well, I thought I did]

Mr. Man: Oh ok. Thank God oo. If I knew about the traffic, I would’ve set off early, don’t you think so too? But where are you going?

Bus Conductor (Mate): [asks passengers] Kotobabi??

Miz Akwele: [sigh!] Kotobabi.

[Bus stops and I smile]

Mr. Man: Ei you are going to see him ehn? He should take good care of you oo… Else I will take you away.

[Finally, I was out of the car]

I promised to summarise this story, and I did. The other details were just appalling and about the same acts. And oh yes, I just remembered him spitting out his gum in the car.

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Comments
  1. qubammish says:

    Just so you know I read this post and I smiled.

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