Posted: February 11, 2014 in Uncategorized
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[Photo Credit : Amfo Connolly

I am not depressed
I think I am a lot of fun
I am happy
Yet I don’t feel joyous either

There are just days I want to be wanted but other days, I don’t want to be bothered. Again, I’m not depressed. Fine, so I don’t know what I want because I can’t tell exactly how I feel, but wouldn’t it be sad to know you’re going through the same ordeal?

Single? Yes.
Lonely? No.
Happy? Yes.
So what’s it? I don’t know…

…wait! I do know. Mother always said, “you need not rush it, they’ll come in their numbers and all you will have to do is make a choice; focus on God, your education and make enough money for yourself first”. As for Father, he kept matching me with his friends’ sons. There was Kwabena who bailed out after 6mths of counselling; he gave the silly excuse of having cold feet. I bet he’s frozen by now.

Some years back, Nii Kwotey moved in with me but that was short-lived when he told me I was self centred and not humble, because, “you think you have it all and you need no one. Let me be a man, Maame, I have my ego”. Of cause I told him I had mine too. That got him packing. I was sad and disappointed but, should I have chased after him? Mother said there would be many.

I kept waiting, even lost track of time, and work became a routine. I love what I do. I’m best at it. I was ok with my life’s routine until this dream.

I shouldn’t have woken up. Now I can only stare at the darkness before me; not the evil scary darkness, far from that, it’s the darkness that begins to linger in the absence of light fading to permit silhouette to dominate the greys. Uhmm… That sounded a bit sinister.

Forget the poetic descriptions.

Last night, Mother gave me a scare that threatened my heart to the core. She said, “you can never be so sure of the man you choose. A man is always a man. He has the higher tendency to cheat on you even if he claims to love you. He will say sorry and do it again, so brace yourself. See your father, did you not grow up with the same situation? Not to scare you, my daughter…” everything else that followed was a distant echo to my ears. Then it struck me, Nii Kotei cheated on me sometime with his ex and still remains friends with her. He said it was because I seem… [stutters] I… Ohh forget it! [sighs]

But he proposed. If that part of me he claims is an issue, why does he want to live the rest of his life with me? And there’s Owuraku who isn’t financially settled but asked me to be his wife too; I love him, but Nii Kotei has it all, and he’s someone I can easily grow on. I like him enough. But Owuraku knows me inside out! Mother wouldn’t want him. Father would say he isn’t qualified. But i’m not the only on marrying him, at the end of the day, both families are uniting.

I shouldn’t be depressed. Some women don’t even have choices. Aaarrgghhhh!!

  1. DextDee says:

    Nice Piece

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