Posted: November 21, 2014 in Uncategorized



This is exactly what I feared; seeing my living fears and distorted images of myself.

So I am no more alive?

Everything else is dead?

My suffering, my pain is dead?

I am dead? I am dead.

Now all I see is a reflection of my own life – taunting. No matter how close I came to it, it receded before me. I am actually dead for others. They live ignorantly of what is on the other side of the wall; the wall we were all born facing. To think about the prospects of one’s own death is a constant meditation upon one’s own ignorance. Death is not known. Death is experienced only by the dead who remain dead. I wish I could explain to them how it is over here, without instilling fear in them.

I should’ve clearly told my son about Kobbie. I shouldn’t have kept the truth from him anyway, perhaps I could’ve aborted the baby when he wanted me to, but Mallam Yusif’s dubious ways can never be trusted. What if I had passed…

Before I could end my sentence, I felt a pound on my chest… Then another… It sounded louder, then I heard his voice.

Paa? Paa. My son!!!

The next minute, I was back in my body, coughing uncontrollably with water dripping down my cheeks and nose.

They looked surprised, and glad, and frightened.

Paa: Mother!!

He hugged me, weeping bitterly.

Paa: Mother, I thought you’d left me… I thought you’d left me. Don’t ever go mother, I’m sorry, please forgive me.

I couldn’t let go of the hug. So I said calmly

Aku: Hey… Hey… I am here for you, ok? You’re all I’ve got, I can never leave you.

Kobbie was watching, with pity and sadness in his eyes. The light from the lantern hit his face so hard, maybe the reason for his uncontrollable sweat… Besides bringing me back to life. Just then, I knew I had to tell it.

I opened my arms and he held them in a second. Abena, I couldn’t tell what she was feeling, but I cared.

Aku: Paa, here’s your father, Kobina.

His eyes, they lit like the lantern, Kobbie’s. Paa immediately coiled under his arms, ‘Father. I knew it. I knew it’.

Abena run out in tears. I’d wanted to run after her. She was hurting, unfortunately, but I still cared.

I am sleepy now. It’s been a long week.



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