Archive for the ‘Short Series’ Category

You should've seen the expression on Zed's face... priceless! He just needed to get to Kosi's, and it's about an hour more's journey to Afienya.

‘You should’ve seen the expression on Zed’s face… priceless! He just needed to get to Kosi’s, and it’s about an hour more’s journey to Afienya’

I often get bored on Facebook with all the cliche statuses and copied quotes that aren’t accompanied with references. ‘OMG! That’s so deep’, ‘wow! I never thought of that’, ‘Gees! You inspire me with your daily quotes’… and for the photographs, well, pfft! What is the essence of uploading one’s photos anyway? Just for compliments and likes? Why not fish those compliments from friends, privately, on Whatsapp maybe? Too many unnecessary photos clouding my wall. The selfies, unbearable!

‘morning selfie don’t kill nobody #naturally’… ‘facebeat by yours truly’… ‘eyebrows on fleak!’

Ladies, question: per chance your man asks for a #natural #morningselfie, how would you caption it? Will you proudly hashtag it #natural #morningglory or for most ladies, appropriately #eyebrowsonhideandseek ?? We know your makeup or face-beat highlights your beauty, but then you don’t need to wear make-up everyday. We want to get used to your #natural, and compliment the makeup when you throw it at us occasionally.

Back to the matter: we intended meeting up for the first time after a month of talking consistently and getting to know each other on Facebook; it’s been 3 weeks and 2 days and I can’t wait to see her. Wait, no! I can. I am the one in control.

A few minutes later, Zed receives a Facebook call from Kosi. He was excited she called first, but that mood was short-lived. Her mother had just passed. Confused, he sped off to see her. Too soon, if you ask me. But yeah, he was confused.

The traffic on the Tetteh-Quarshie interchange was devastating. It was a Friday, rush hour, but just when he decided to break the law using the outer lane out of the traffic mess, that was the exact moment the police spotted him. It gets better; he left his Driver’s License at home and wasn’t strapped in his seat-belt either. Confused, still, even more, he took out his purse and handed the Mr. Policeman GHC50.00.

Guess what Mr. Policeman’s reaction was.

“Massa! What is this? What are you trying to do? Bride me? You know I can put you behind bars for this, right?? No No No what is this? GHC50!! So you flout the rules and bribe me on top of it, then go about on radio stations and social media to paint the law enforcers black. Who is doing wrong here?

You should’ve seen the expression on Zed’s face… priceless! He just needed to get to Kosi’s, and it’s about an hour more’s journey to Afienya.

[Mr. Policeman continues] “But I see you’re in a hurry. She must really mean a lot to you listening to all you said about her. People lose loved ones by the day. She will be fine” He writes down Zed’s number plate and signals him to go. Just when he sparked the car, “ei Massa, you have something for me?” He finally takes the GHC50.

Darn these policemen! So he’ll take the money anyway? Talk of the pot calling the kettle black. Tsk tsk tsk.

[After a hard time locating Kosi’s end, he enters her house and saw her approaching a few meters away from the gate with some of her colleagues. She was in an off shoulder, knee level black satin dress. She looked like a black barbie, only taller and without earrings with a black turban. They approach, closer, and he had no idea what to say.

‘Hello ladies’ [the girls respond… to his amazement, she hugs him tightly and begins sobbing.

[He whispers in her ears] ‘hey… hey… hey… sshh… it’s ok, it’s ok to cry’ [one of the girls tapped her on the shoulder and left with the rest]

[After a few minutes with bodies still attached and sobs on the high and low, they part and smile at each other]

[Kosi sighs] ‘I can’t believe you came all the way from Awoshie to see me. I appreciate this, I really do’

…to be continued.

Photography: Genesiz Multi

I can get any woman I want, but this time, she has to be worth it... O! Pardon my manners. my name is Zed.

I can get any woman I want, but this time, she has to be worth it… O! Pardon my manners. my name is Zed.

I have to let her go, she was being demanding. Argh! …demanding for something we never agreed on.

What’s with this whole commitment thing? Isn’t telling her ‘I love you enough?’ Women! They want to hear those words so badly, you tell them, then there’s something else, and another, then another, and the list is endless.

Judge me on this one: we practically live like a married couple; shop, sleep, bath, eat, live together. In the beginning, she agreed to a flexible and open relationship, until she had issues with her landlord and moved in ‘temporarily’, that was over 3 years ago. A few weeks back, I found her with another man in my favourite couch -now that is something I wouldn’t tolerate, ever.

“I don’t care who you f**k, but he better have a couch to f**k you on, not mine”

Even though I proposed an open relationship, what she doesn’t know is, I’ve been faithful to her… ok, there was just this time I made out with her best friend -she’s hot. But yeah, I’ve been faithful. Pfft!

She has to go.

“So you’re breaking up with me? We agreed to an open relationship so…?”

“so? Is that what you’re asking, ‘so?'”

“yeah! ‘so?'”

“listen bae, it’s not working for me, so yeah, I am letting you go”

“you will pay for this! O I swear you will pay for this…” and the nagging and screams wouldn’t stop, only that they sounded like whispers in my ears.

They call me the ladies’ man, think I’m that dude who wouldn’t stick to one but can have anyone he pleases. Perhaps it’s time for me to see things that way. I can get any woman I want, but this time, she has to be worth it…

O! Pardon my manners. my name is Zed.

…to be continued.

Photography: Genesiz Multi