Posts Tagged ‘thoughts’

It’s 04:23 and I’m thinking, if I had the chance to save your life before you lost it, I will. I’m thinking about you.

The sharp piercings of pain prickles my senses to the core when you think yourself worthless. My heart practically breaks every moment you feel you were never made for this. You were.

You see, I have problems too. The elephant is failure-prone to the ant… yeah! We’re never safe until we feel we are. But you are; you are safe.

I know this because I believe in you. Wait… you thought no one did? [Sigh!]

Did you come unto this earth by freewill? Why would you choose to exit out how you didn’t come? Don’t do that.

You are valuable, your being, I need you. I need you to read this to inspire me… inspire another. I need you to comment on this and tell me you get it, so I know I’m valuable too, only because you are. That’s your value to me now.

If you’d passed me a note telling me you’d want to kill yourself, end it all, I’ll tear the same page of my book, write same, then pass you a note too. Let’s see how that works out for both of us.

You’ve no idea how valuable a treasure you are.

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The heart, as fragile as it is literally and figuratively, is what keeps us alive, sanely or insanely, we still are alive.

But it’s deceiving, more than once, it is deceiving. Often times takes the same path, signals our minds to see light at the end of the tunnel; we get there and realize it was only daylight, in the season of longer nights.

If the organ that keeps us alive is a fragile one, is it not fair to say that we are naturally fragile. It is okay to be fragile, but you will be happier if you are stronger. Your cry isn’t a sign of weakness, it is a sign that you’re still alive; the dead cannot cry.

But don’t stay there, please don’t stay there. Dry those tears and live. Crying is not the only sign of living.

You’re smart until they get familiar
Everything else looks same
Same face
Unsettling weight
Even compliments fade

You’re the one who got familiar
Because I changed, I’m not always the same
PMS boobs now like the regular
Purchased another for when it’s period
But you… You got familiar

No more compliments, that I can deal with
But to compare me with her, dude, you’re tripping
Wait till we start talking less
Wait till you get familiar with her
Then you’ll know I didn’t get less smart
You got familiar

How do I explain this?

It’s not just like someone you love died, it’s like everything you ever felt, all the things you perceived and believed in died, and you’ll have to do things differently. You have no other option than to do things differently. Because whether that person chose to die, or was taken away naturally by the hands of time, perhaps a supernatural hand, he’s dead anyway.

This death I’m talking about isn’t the kind of natural departure in a man’s life cycle, it is that kind of death you witness taking over the life of the one you love, still living. If I had my way, I’d pretend as if nothing happened; I’ll let go, but this is hard for me.

We see it coming sometimes, other times, it just hits you so hard in the chest, surprisingly; it isn’t any experience you can get over overnight. It’s the kind of hurt that changes things… changes you.

This is my loss. This is how I feel, right about now, seated in the corner of my bedroom floor.

Maybe, after all, we are all a bunch of desperate people living desperate lives in search of the love that can keep us satisfied with the life we’re living. But we’re never satisfied, are we? We are never satisfied.

We can settle, for the least is greater than none at all. We settle until we finally realize we’ve exhausted that little we chose over ‘none at all’. That is when we get familiar, complacent… we get too comfortable and yearn for change, come what may.

But then, within the period of the edge of complacency and the yearn for a change, we are naturally moved by any element that supports our thought for this change; an element within, an element without.

In the end, we are back to settling for the little we can get, for the least is greater than none at all.

No, most of us don’t live our lives on social media via our daily statuses, but there are real life situations and emotions screaming out loud within us, ones we cannot project naturally from our mouths to a particular person.

So we share on FB and twitter, and even blog about them to an unseen number of audience, careless of their reception; perhaps they heard, perhaps they didn’t… perhaps the shallow minded will judge, perhaps they wouldn’t.

In the end, we said it.

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If I say I love black & white but can’t pick one out as a favorite because then one will have power over the other, am I Racist?

Perhaps, the thought of having to choose one over the other, alone, is racist?

What if I chose both? Is it racist for ‘considering’ black & white, having both in my possession when I know I prefer one to the other?
But then to forfeit one for the other will meaning choosing one over the other.

Why is there black & white to begin with?

If black and white exist for clarity sake because grey screams of uncertainty and indecision, why should the concept of black & white be so confusing now? Black and white is grey now?

Wait, black and white makes grey… O! I get it. I get it.